To the mothers on father’s day, get a life!

I do not know if the “To mom on father’s day” card is available outside of Hallmark’s Mahogany line but it is a direct attack on the Black family structure. I actually wrote to Hallmark a few years ago and the reply was something like, it was in high demand or women were requesting this. I don’t want to believe and I’m not, that a surplus of Black women pressured Hallmark to create these cards.

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No doubt, many of us were raised by single mothers and have been for many generations but a woman could never fill the void of a man. A mother could never take the place of a father. So why can’t the father and father figures who are actively involved in their children’s life have this one day? Why would Hallmark participate in the stigmatization of our Black men? Especially since between us, we know that there are as many deadbeat moms as there are dads. Hmmm. I think I am on to something. Could you imagine walking through CVS and a mother’s day card reads, “Happy Mother’s day, to the full time babysitter. I know you only keep that child close because you are receiving a child support and welfare check but you keep up the good work!”  How about a card that reads, “Happy Mother’s Day, to the woman who keeps her child away from his dad because he decided to find love with another woman.” I mean let’s keep it real.

I am so sick of it. Every year our men can’t enjoy father’s day because of the negative energy. And have you noticed the mothers who are the most upset, are the type with several baby fathers? All three of them can’t be that bad.

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Now, I am not negating that single moms or rather any single parent doesn’t deserve all the praise in the world. I watched my mother solo, drop two kids off at school in different parts of the city, make all sports games, PTA meetings, cook breakfast/dinner,  keep a bomb figure, and put her oldest child through college, all while working full time as an attorney. She did that every day for many years with no help, talk about sacrifices and yet I’m still not calling her on father’s day. I will call my dad though, despite the inactivity and 2 minute phone calls. My mommy can’t replace the gruff voice I look forward to when he picks up the phone, the scent of cigarettes on my clothing days after I left his presence, or the feeling of protection when an unk tries to holla and my father replies, “Man that’s my daughter!!”  We all have different experiences with our dads, some better than others, and unfortunately some don’t even know their fathers. Still, bitterness is no reason to re-direct the attention of father’s day to yourself.  It aint about your abandonment issues boo or your anything baby daddy.

Father’s Day is for fathers not the single moms.  You had your day, let the men bask for once.

 

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